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Everyone's favorite monsters are stuck at the stoplight. Traffic is a vexation--even for the undead!
Hello and thank you to everyone that has taken the time to watch and rate this movie. I appreciate it very much. Many fans have asked me about the script, so I am posting the full text here:
EXT NIGHT. MED SHOT OF A LUXURIOUS CHRYSLER 300 SEDAN DRIVING DOWN AN URBAN STREET. AT THE WHEEL IS FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER, WITH HIS BRIDE IN THE PASSENGER SEAT, COUNT DRACULA IN THE BACKSEAT BEHIND THE DRIVER AND A WEREWOLF NAMED WOLVERTON SEATED NEXT TO THE NOTORIOUS VAMPIRE.
THE 300 SLOWLY PULLS UP AT A STOPLIGHT. CUT TO INT MED SHOT OF THE 300 AS THE BRIDE UPBRAIDS FRANKENSTEIN'S CHOICE IN ROUTES TO THEIR DESTINATION.
Frank, I told you if we went this way we'd hit all of these stoplights.
Traffic worse on expressway. Me say this shortcut.
Shortcut or not, we're going to be late as slow as you drive.
(in a heavy Romanian accent)
Do not be concerned by your husband's navigation, my dear. The shortage of time is but a vexation for the living.
A vexation? Seriously, Drac… I used to think the reason why I never understood a word you said was because of your freaky accent, but now I realize it's because you talk like it's still 1897.
I wouldn't expect a common lycanthrope like you to understand. Vampires such as I have a vocabulary that—
CUT TO CLOSE UP OF FRANKENSTIEN'S MONSTER AS HE SHAKES HIS HEAD
Me hate long stoplight.
CUT TO INT MED SHOT OF 300's FRONT SEAT
We wouldn't have to sit here at the light if someone would've taken the expressway like I told him too an—oh, look Frank! What kind of car is that next to us?
(Howls) I like those curves!
CUT TO MED SHOT OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE CHRYSLER CROSSFIRE PULLING UP TO THE MONSTER'S CAR AT THE STOPLIGHT. THE WOMAN TILTS HER HEAD MODESTLY AND LOOKS OVER AT THE MONSTERS IN THE CAR NEXT TO HER WITHOUT SHOWING ANY FEAR.
Look at the beautiful woman in that car. She gazes into my eyes with wonder.
Yeah, 'cause she saw your red bowtie and wondered: "Is that Pee Wee Herman?"
Don't get me wrong; I like our sedan but sometimes I think Frank and I should've bought a bigger car. You know, in case we have little monsters.
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER GRUNTS DISAPPROVINGLY. CUT TO WOLVERTON AS HE FIDGETS IN HIS SEAT. THE MOON IS FULL AND HE BEGINS TO CHANGE INTO THE MAN-WOLF
Yo Frankie? Can you open the moonroof? I'm feelin' a little… wolfy.
Ugh! Why light not change?
THE MAN-WOLF HOWLS AT THE MOON AND CLAWS AT COUNT DRACULA. THE OLD VAMPIRE CRIES OUT AND SWATS BACK AT THE MAN-WOLF
Ah! Get away from me you stupid talking dog!
Oh no you don't! Do not wolf out in this car! We just had the car detailed and you're going to get hair all over the backseat! I knew this was going to happen, Frank. If you would've listened to me and taken the expressway…
FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER GRUNTS ANGRILY. CUT TO LONG SHOT OF BOTH CARS PULLING AWAY FROM THE STOPLIGHT. FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER STEPS ON THE GAS AND BARRELS AROUND THE CORNER IN ANGER. THE SOUND OF A WOLF SNARLING, COUNT DRACULA COMPLAINING, AND THE BRIDE YELLING AT FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER CAN BE HEARD UNDER THE GROWL OF THE CHRYSLER 300'S ENGINE.
Me want smaller car. No want to drive other monsters anymore!
SPECIAL THANKS: Two of the actors contributing voices to "At A Dead Stop," Elicia Wickstead and Brandon Felker, are members of the Seattle, WA-based comedy troupe Unexpected Productions. For more information, visit www.unexpectedproductions.org
Video shot at: TMO - United States - 2006-03-07
Added: Nov 21, 2008 |
Runtime: 2:22 |